Alhamdullillah, hubby,myself and the kids went for the mlm Nisfu Syaaban...reading of yaseen and zikir sessions. We managed to reach the place before maghrib for the congregational prayers.
After the prayer, we started with the reading of yaseen followed by dzikir. At some point of the dzikir, i was emotional, tears flowed fm my eyes....i couldnt help it. I cried and cried silently, i knew my daughter was wondering why . She's too young to understand. I felt so "tiny" in the eyes of Allah. I felt so guilty of the things that ive done...i felt ive not done enuf for HIM. The dzikir n salawat pierced thru my heart. For those who went for such sessions, i believe u know what i mean. Despite the emotional part, i did feel refreshed and tranquil after the whole event.
We reached home abt 2300hrs...cos, we stayed for a while to catch up with some friends, who came for the sessions. At 4am time this morning, i couldnt sleep anymore..i tossed and turned, but my eyes were wide open. I wanted to continue sleeping for an hour more, cos, i set my alarm at 5am actually, but i just couldnt.
It's like "someone" woke me up.........i felt so fresh at 4am ??! So, i got up fm my bed, went to the washroom , cleansed myself up and took my ablution. I did my tahajjud...and silent zikir...i know im not 'alone' . I had silent conversation with my Creator. Then, i slept for awhile .. woke up only for subh, and i never went to bed again after that.
Thank you, Allah, for giving me the chance to reflect and ponder .Thank you Allah, for all your blessings and bounties. Ameen.